Democratic Convention, Day 1
As the Democratic Convention kicks off tonight, we Democrats get to be reminded of how things used to be. Tonight is all about firing up the base with my personal favorite Bill Clinton. You may recall in 2000 the long camera shot of Clinton walking through the halls of the arena to the podium and the crowd going nuts. It will be a great speech.
Conventions are the campaigns opportunity to define their candidates on a national stage and a long standing tradition in our democratic process. There is a seedy side to the conventions and that is where the corporate and special interests buy their access. Both parties do it and it is unfortunate. Click here to see all the events where Democrat politicians can whore themselves out, I mean thank donors for their support in this critical race.
Here is the itinerary Congressman Kutuchief would follow today:
I begin the day with some minority outreach with Russell Simmons. We politicians love celebrities and it will help my street cred with voters in my district. I hear there will be lots of famous people here and I promised my brother I would try to get him a Kayne West autograph. Simmons will probably only contribute about $2,500, but the pictures for my campaign website will be priceless.
Boston Hip Hop Summit 11 a.m.-3 p.m.
Location: Reggie Lewis Track & Athletic Center, Roxbury Community College, 1350 Tremont St., Roxbury
Host: Russell Simmons and the Hip Hop Summit Action Network
After lunch I'm off to industry to pick up a check and shake some hands. The good people at Edison Electric are grateful because they were going to be fined by OSHA for some workers safety violations. My old chief of staff is now with OSHA. I was able to be helpful in this area and am counting on a $15,000 check to the Ohio Democratic Party to help get out the vote in my district. This will be a quick stop and boring.
Edison Electric Institute Luncheon Noon-3 p.m.
Location: Odyssey Boat Cruise, Waterfront, Boston
Host: Edison Electric Institute
Turns out Edison Electric was a boat cruise for 3 dam hours. Absolute hell and my staff heard about it for for about 45 minutes of the cruise. It was rough waters and I'm kind of motion sick. I'm finally off the boat and off to visit my good friends at Alabama Power. I don't know much about power issues, but the CEO Randy Barbour told me that I had to get here at 5:00 for the "Alabama Power, Power Hour." He said they will contribute $100 for every minute I'm there from 5:00 - 6:00. I could use $6,000 and a glass of bourbon.
Alabama Power Reception 5 p.m.-7 p.m.
Location: Locke Ober, 3 Winter Place, Boston
Host: Alabama Power
Finally got a buzz, I'm now talking with a slight southern accent and I'm starving. I've got this Rail Road thing to go to for Union Pacific. They've got some thing about transporting some "industrial waste" through my district to Yucca Mountain in Nevada. Blah blah blah. They assure me that it is safe and they need a friend on this issue. I plan to say "show me the money" (because I'm buzzed) and boy will they. My staff tells me that we can expect $20,000 bundled from the employees at Union Pacific. Choo-Choo!
Union Pacific Reception 6:30 p.m.-Midnight
Location: Museum of Science, 1 Science Park, Boston
Host: Union Pacific
Well, it is about 8:30 and I finally got some food in me an thus lost my buzz. I'm now heading to the Verizon event which is supposed to be very nice. I always hit one event open to the public about this time of night because as a Congressman I'm like a celebrity at these things. They announce my entry when I come in the party and my staff tells me that there is a large delegation of Ohio Young Democrats who will be here. I'll probably only get like $2,500 for the stop, but I'm ready to talk to the ladies.
Verizon Late night Reception 8 p.m.-1 a.m.
Location: Boston Open to The Public, Library, 700 Boylston St., Boston
Host: Verizon
Good news. I managed to pick up this smoking hot girl I met earlier in the day at the Russell Simmons hip-hop summit. It turns out that she was an extra in a recent Jadakiss video, whoever the hell that is. She's a graduate from Boston University and looking to come to Washington and I said I could be very helpful. (wink wink) I managed to convince my staff that I was done for the night and heading home. I told Jessica, girl from the Jadakiss video, to meet me outside. It was the perfect plan and now we are off to discuss her resume. Check back tomorrow for an update.
Monday Fundraising Total: $46,000
Conventions are the campaigns opportunity to define their candidates on a national stage and a long standing tradition in our democratic process. There is a seedy side to the conventions and that is where the corporate and special interests buy their access. Both parties do it and it is unfortunate. Click here to see all the events where Democrat politicians can whore themselves out, I mean thank donors for their support in this critical race.
Here is the itinerary Congressman Kutuchief would follow today:
I begin the day with some minority outreach with Russell Simmons. We politicians love celebrities and it will help my street cred with voters in my district. I hear there will be lots of famous people here and I promised my brother I would try to get him a Kayne West autograph. Simmons will probably only contribute about $2,500, but the pictures for my campaign website will be priceless.
Boston Hip Hop Summit 11 a.m.-3 p.m.
Location: Reggie Lewis Track & Athletic Center, Roxbury Community College, 1350 Tremont St., Roxbury
Host: Russell Simmons and the Hip Hop Summit Action Network
After lunch I'm off to industry to pick up a check and shake some hands. The good people at Edison Electric are grateful because they were going to be fined by OSHA for some workers safety violations. My old chief of staff is now with OSHA. I was able to be helpful in this area and am counting on a $15,000 check to the Ohio Democratic Party to help get out the vote in my district. This will be a quick stop and boring.
Edison Electric Institute Luncheon Noon-3 p.m.
Location: Odyssey Boat Cruise, Waterfront, Boston
Host: Edison Electric Institute
Turns out Edison Electric was a boat cruise for 3 dam hours. Absolute hell and my staff heard about it for for about 45 minutes of the cruise. It was rough waters and I'm kind of motion sick. I'm finally off the boat and off to visit my good friends at Alabama Power. I don't know much about power issues, but the CEO Randy Barbour told me that I had to get here at 5:00 for the "Alabama Power, Power Hour." He said they will contribute $100 for every minute I'm there from 5:00 - 6:00. I could use $6,000 and a glass of bourbon.
Alabama Power Reception 5 p.m.-7 p.m.
Location: Locke Ober, 3 Winter Place, Boston
Host: Alabama Power
Finally got a buzz, I'm now talking with a slight southern accent and I'm starving. I've got this Rail Road thing to go to for Union Pacific. They've got some thing about transporting some "industrial waste" through my district to Yucca Mountain in Nevada. Blah blah blah. They assure me that it is safe and they need a friend on this issue. I plan to say "show me the money" (because I'm buzzed) and boy will they. My staff tells me that we can expect $20,000 bundled from the employees at Union Pacific. Choo-Choo!
Union Pacific Reception 6:30 p.m.-Midnight
Location: Museum of Science, 1 Science Park, Boston
Host: Union Pacific
Well, it is about 8:30 and I finally got some food in me an thus lost my buzz. I'm now heading to the Verizon event which is supposed to be very nice. I always hit one event open to the public about this time of night because as a Congressman I'm like a celebrity at these things. They announce my entry when I come in the party and my staff tells me that there is a large delegation of Ohio Young Democrats who will be here. I'll probably only get like $2,500 for the stop, but I'm ready to talk to the ladies.
Verizon Late night Reception 8 p.m.-1 a.m.
Location: Boston Open to The Public, Library, 700 Boylston St., Boston
Host: Verizon
Good news. I managed to pick up this smoking hot girl I met earlier in the day at the Russell Simmons hip-hop summit. It turns out that she was an extra in a recent Jadakiss video, whoever the hell that is. She's a graduate from Boston University and looking to come to Washington and I said I could be very helpful. (wink wink) I managed to convince my staff that I was done for the night and heading home. I told Jessica, girl from the Jadakiss video, to meet me outside. It was the perfect plan and now we are off to discuss her resume. Check back tomorrow for an update.
Monday Fundraising Total: $46,000
By Kyle - 7/26/2004
1 Comments:
You've got to find and get into the Larry David party
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